Daddy Isssues
by Books In the Blood
Summary: Harry doesnt think Eggsy has Daddy issues until one mission where they discuss things and it gets complicated...
1. Chapter 1

It all started on an ordinary mission, unsurprisingly. Harry and Eggsy were undercover infiltrating a gambling ring and their cover story for staying at the hotel and maneuvering through the casinos and other venues was that they were father and son. This didn't bother Harry; the other agents teased him a bit about it but it made sense. Eggsy was young enough to be his child and he had known Eggsy's father so that proved the point. Harry didn't know if they really shared the personal resemblance of father and son but everyone else seemed to think they did and that was good enough for Harry to know it was a good cover. And that was all that mattered to him; it didn't hurt his pride because he knew it was a realistic cover.

And Eggsy seemed to get a good kick out of it; he never seemed to fail to bring up that Harry was his 'father' to unsuspecting strangers, even ones that didn't really need to know their cover story. Harry was positively sure that Eggsy said, "My Dad" more times in those few days than he had ever heard Eggsy call him by name but it didn't strike Harry as strange. He was sure that Eggsy was getting a good kick out of trying to make Harry feel old and Eggsy's grins were enough to make it worth it.

_"__You'll have to excuse my Dad; his hearing is really going these days"_

_"__Watch out, old man coming through! Just kidding, Dad"_

_"__Dad, will you look at that…..you've got MORE gray hairs!"_

_"__You going to have a heart attack, old man? Just kidding, Dad!"_

_"__What do you want to drink, Dad? I know you like martinis but I think the doctor said to lay off them, right? Dad?"_

Eggsy was naming dropping "Dad" like he was a paid sponsor for the word but Harry took it in stride; Eggsy was just a kid and to be fair some of the quips were funny and he enjoyed watching Eggsy smile so much. It didn't stop them from kicking total ass in the end and ending the mission on a high note.

The day after everything had been wrapped up and everyone was preparing to go home, Harry and Eggsy and the other agents were sited in the hotel's beach bar, eating, drinking and having a general good time when Harry finally saw that Eggsy's comments were more than they seemed.

Harry had been to the bar to collect the drinks and passing them around he sat down at the table across the table from Eggsy and handed him his beer.

"Thanks, Daddy"

It was as if a cloud of silence had passed over the bar; the faint music on the radio being played throughout the restaurant could be heard but all of the agents' voices stopped talking, as closely sited as they were, they all turned toward Eggsy, wide grins breaking out on their faces at the slip.

"Eggsy, your mission is over. One would think you _like _calling Harry your Dad"

"Harry, I think it's time you punish this little one"

"Aww…..baby boy has such good manners!"

"Get a ROOM!"

"I guess we know who wears the pants in that relationship!"

"Someone's got Daddy Issues!"

_Daddy Issues…Daddy Issues…..DADDY ISSUES!_

Harry knew they were all teasing…he'd been through way worse verbal sparring and admittedly they were teasing HIM too but…none of that mattered when he looked at Eggsy. Eggsy had grown up around a tough crowd and was used to taking a good hazing but when Harry looked at him he knew that something wasn't right. Eggsy's face was flushed pale, all except for his cheeks were exceptionally red and embarrassed, his eyes averted so that he was avoiding everyone's eyes. It wasn't like Eggsy to just take quips like that but for some reason, he didn't say anything; he stared down at the table like an embarrassed child before fleeing out of the restaurant, beer clutched tightly in hand.

Everyone chuckled as they watched Eggsy disappear out of the bar and across the sand outside and though Harry knew they all meant it in fun, that they really didn't want to hurt Eggsy, they HAD for some reason and Harry was mad.

"I hardly think that was necessary" was all Harry managed to say in clipped angry tones before he too fled out of the restaurant after Eggsy.

As he walked into the warm, salty air, he was assaulted by dozens of voices and the music of numerous restaurants but all he could think about was Eggsy's slip. He'd had no doubt that on their mission his delight came solely from the fact that calling Harry Dad was to tease him. But this…..this was totally involuntary and wasn't a joke. Eggsy had said it in context…not to mention that he hadn't called him Dad but 'Daddy' which was….._different…_

He found Eggsy standing at the railing by the sand, leaning over it and sipping his beer. To any passerby, he'd look like a strong, capable man; just an ordinary red blooded bloke drinking a beer. But Harry could see past that; he could see the hurt in his eyes and the embarrassment that still tinged his cheeks. He also knew this totally capable man had just called him 'Daddy'.

Eggsy didn't look at Harry as he came to stand next to him but he visibly tensed when he did. "I don't know why those guys have to give me such a rough time…..you know what they are? Total and complete pricks…..fucking wankers, all of them!" Eggsy said with venom, spitting the words when Harry knew it was really just a cover up. Eggsy wasn't angry…..he was embarrassed and showing a deeper hurt Harry didn't understand yet.

"Yep…..they are. That was totally uncalled for" Harry said agreeably, staring ahead at the ocean instead of the looking at Eggsy directly in favor of watching him out of the corner of his eye. Apparently, being agreeable wasn't what Eggsy wanted.

"Don't say I have Daddy issues!" Eggsy burst out passionately. "Because I don't! I don't have fucking Daddy issues no matter what those guys say!"

Harry wanted to argue that anyone who said 'I don't have _fucking _Daddy issues' probably really did but he knew better than to do that; arguing with Eggsy or pointing out logic would only upset him at this point so Harry remained calm.

"I wasn't going to" Harry said calmly, "It didn't mean anything. Nothing but a Freudian slip"

"No! That just means the same damn thing!" Eggsy burst out, this time turning slightly to look at Harry, "Making a Freudian slip about Daddy issues means I HAVE Daddy issues. And I DON'T!"

_Well, at least he paid attention in Psychology…_Harry though wryly because that was exactly what it DID mean. He changed tactics.

"Yes, of course it does….."Harry agreed. "Well, what I MEANT to say was, we were on a mission for several days where we were pretending to be father and son and so it's natural that after all that time you would slip and call me Dad again"

Harry said it so calmly and reasonably that even he believed it even though it was total slip. It might have been believable that Eggsy could slip a little in public, a slip of Dad or D-before he corrected himself. But Daddy? Eggsy hadn't called him that the whole weekend and they both knew it was different. More meaningful…more _intimate. _

"Yeah…..yeah of course…"Eggsy agreed even though Harry could tell not even he believed him.

Harry let several minutes pass by in silence, staring at the ocean as the waves crashed lightly in toward them, Eggsy contemplatively sipping his drink before he spoke what was on his mind. He knew Eggsy wouldn't like it but he felt it needed to be said.

"I know you don't have Daddy issues" Harry said even though he was sure that Eggsy DID have it, "But is it possible that for some reason you like calling me Dad?"

There was a war going on inside Eggsy; Harry could see it in the clouding of his clear eyes and his refusal to meet Harry's gaze. He knew that Eggsy wouldn't admit it outright…..but he also knew there was something deep and hurt in him that would make him admit something. Eggsy presented a very strong and tough exterior to the world and he knew that the world believed it; Harry knew better. He could see the hurt and pain behind Eggsy's mask.

"I don't know why I do"

The words hung in the air like a heavy weight. Eggsy wouldn't look at Harry, wouldn't look at anything but his own feet. His words were quiet and hesitant and Harry could hear the tremble of fear slightly in them. Eggsy couldn't admit overtly that he liked calling Harry Dad; it took all he could to say what he did. But it was enough; saying 'I don't know why I do' showed that he did.

"Perhaps it's because you grew up without a father figure-"Harry started calmly before Eggsy cut him off.

"I don't pretend you're my real dad…it has nothing to do with that" Eggsy was quick to say. His cheeks visibly colored. Harry didn't live under a rock; he knew that many people who called a partner 'daddy' wanted to make for sure and certain everyone else knew that it had nothing to do with their actual fathers. But he also knew that was with _partners…couples…._of which he and Eggsy weren't. He understood the sexual motivation; he didn't understand Eggsy's.

"Well, then what does it have to do with?" Harry gently probed.

Eggsy paused for a long moment. "I told you, I don't know" he said quietly. "At first, with the case…I was just trying to get a rise out of you…trying to joke with you for being old enough to be my dad. But then…it didn't seem to bother you and yet I was doing it anyway. I wasn't doing it for a joke anymore but I don't know why I didn't stop."

Harry couldn't supply Eggsy with the answers he was so desperately looking for; he had no idea what Eggsy's motivation was because he had assumed he'd only been teasing him the whole time. Harry should have been more bothered by it really; did he WANT Eggsy to keep calling him Dad even though the case was over? He felt like he should have said no but he found he didn't care if Eggsy did. For some reason, Eggsy was getting something positive out of calling Harry Dad and he found he couldn't deprive him of that.

"Perhaps we don't have to figure out all of the reasons right now" Harry said, "Perhaps we just agree to figure it out later and in the meantime, you can call me Daddy when we are alone if you want to."

You'd have thought it was Christmas; Eggsy's face was so hopeful, his eyes so bright as they whipped around…Harry would never forget that look and knowing that he put that happiness there by allowing such a simple thing.

"Really?" Eggsy asked, his voice rising with hope before he coughed a bit and tried to act more normal.

"Yes, really" Harry said. "Of course, it's just when it's you and I alone since everyone else is too childish to understand, clearly"

Eggsy's eyes shown with happiness; maybe he didn't understand at all why he wanted it but it was clear to anyone with eyes that he did. Harry had rarely seen him so happy. "Yeah…..yeah, of course" Eggsy agreed, his tone full of emotion and delight despite trying to act normal.

Harry felt something inside of him stir, warm and comfortable at the sight of Eggsy's happiness. He had to cough back the emotion before gesturing toward the restaurant. "Well, I think it's time we return to our colleagues…" he said, "and if they dare to laugh at us again I think we shall kick their asses. We can take them all"

Eggsy started laughing and Harry didn't realize that he'd needed to hear it until he did. Everything simply felt right hearing that happy sound in his ears.

"Yeah…..we can take 'em" Eggsy agreed with a grin before turning toward the restaurant and walking back.


	2. Chapter 2

The whole 'daddy' issue didn't come up much over the next couple of weeks like Harry expected it to. As happy as Eggsy was to be able to call Harry Dad, he actually didn't do it that much. But that might not have been Eggsy's choosing; they simply weren't alone that much together. Most of the time they were working on cases (ones that they didn't have to act as father and son) and were always in the company of someone else. But there had been the occasional instances here and there: Eggsy saying "Night, Daddy" as they parted ways one night for their own homes, Eggsy saying "Please, Daddy" when trying to wheedle him into ordering him a fancy dessert one night, Eggsy saying "Thanks, Daddy" in another bar on another night when he gave him a drink and no one laughed this time…It was always said with such sincerity, such warmth and almost comfort. Harry had told Eggsy he could call him Daddy purely for his benefit but Harry felt that he rather enjoyed it in some ways.

When Eggsy called him Daddy, he felt that he was all of the things that that word implied. The word 'Daddy' brought up visions of strength, protection and a man who was infallible in the eyes of the one that said the words. When Eggsy called him Daddy, he found that he felt all of those things. He felt smarter, better, stronger than he was…..when Eggsy called him Daddy he wanted to do everything he could to be half of what that term of endearment implied he already was.

The matter came to a head a month later when they were on a mission. They were investigating a drug ring and one night he and Eggsy had been engaged at a club where the members were known to frequent, spying out the place for drug activity. Nothing had seemed out of the ordinary; they hadn't seen much activity and Harry and Eggsy had rode together home, first stopping at Eggsy's home and then at his own. Harry hadn't thought a single thing of it; he would later beat himself up about it. He had watched Eggsy get out of the car and watched him walk into his house before he had told the car to leave; he'd even gotten an uncharacteristic night text from Eggsy.

_Miss you already, Daddy…_

There was absolutely nothing to suggest that Harry should have been suspicious and yet he blamed himself for not seeing something was amiss. The next morning when he'd went in, everyone asked him where Eggsy was; they'd tried calling him several times but got no response. Harry felt like he'd been punched in the stomach at their words; he tried calling Eggsy in vain. When he had fled from Kingsman toward Eggsy's house, no one even tried to stop him.

Harry was not surprised to find Eggsy wasn't at home but he was bitterly disappointed; the door had minimal damage but it was obvious it had been kicked in. Harry's stomach stirred with sickness as he walked through Eggsy's flat; nothing looked out of place until he got to Eggsy's bedroom. The bed was rumpled as if he had slept in it but nothing else was out of order; when Harry pulled the bed covers to himself he saw, small and almost unnoticeable, dots of red across Eggsy's sheets. Harry found himself clutching the sheets in his fists, angry…mostly angry at himself. He could see in his mind's eye the drug goons they had been studying coming in here, knocking Eggsy out and carrying him out of here. It was the only idea that made sense for the presence of blood but no obvious signs of struggle. And Eggsy WOULD have put up a fight if he'd been at all capable of doing so.

Feeling like he weighed a million pounds, Harry collapsed on Eggsy's bed, still clutching the bloody sheets.

_Miss you already…..Daddy…._

The words of Eggsy's last text came into his head to haunt him. They were a chilling foreboding…not only did it foreshadow how much he'd miss Eggsy but they showed how supremely Harry had failed at being anything close to being called 'Daddy'. A Daddy protects, a Daddy keeps his charge safe and sound and knows exactly when his charge is in danger. Harry hadn't done any of that; while he'd been soundly at sleep at his own house, Eggsy was being taken by those thugs. Logically, he knew he wasn't responsible but he also knew when Eggsy started calling him 'Daddy' that it automatically meant his protection and foresight was supposed to increase. Being allowed to hear Eggsy call him Daddy meant that he was supposed to be held at a higher standard of accountability.

The next two days were excruciating for Harry; they worked endlessly to find out where Eggsy was and the results were awfully fruitless. For what seemed like an eternity every lead they encountered came to nothing. All the other agents turned a blind eye when Harry would throw his coffee cup against the wall or kick a chair across the room and shout profanities. But at the same time they would place a hand on his shoulder at the right moment and whisper, "We'll find him, Harry"

And find him they did…just when Harry thought he was about to lose his mind, they found him. They traced the gang's activity to an abandoned warehouse in a remote rural area and no one questioned Harry's immediate dispatch to the area though they did insist on having a very large support team in the immediate vicinity to assist if needed. They all stayed in the cars though; somehow these people who had teased Eggsy trivially over drinks about needing a Daddy knew instinctively that Harry needed to do this on his own…..for reasons.

With fire in his blood and fear pulsing at the back of his brain Harry charged into the warehouse. His senses were attuned to every sight, smell and sound but he noticed nothing until he reached the third story which opened up onto an empty, one room story. The room was deserted and empty except for a few chairs, one of which Eggsy was sitting, tied up in. He was surrounded by a few large, overweight thugs. Harry was mentally calculating how to take them down. It turned Harry's stomach to see the dried and wet blood across his nose and mouth, his stooped posture, his pale face….it took everything in him not to charge the thugs that held him immediately. A fire burned inside him like he didn't know; sure, he'd saved Eggsy from danger before but this….this….this was his BOY they were messing with and if he was worthy to be called Daddy he couldn't stand for that…

"I hate to break up this party…..but it looks like you have something that belongs to me" Harry said in as loud as a voice as he could, rushing through the room, gun held high. He could admit to himself, even with as high as his testosterone was and as wild as his pride reined that it wasn't the greatest idea for what he could do. But seeing Eggsy, pale and drawn in pain, weak and hungry was more than he could bear.

"And who would you be? Surely you don't belong here" one of the thugs said, laughing and holding himself as tall and as large as he could. He nudged his cronies. "Look….fancy boy thinks he's going to take us."

In the distance Harry could see Eggsy turn toward him and it stopped it in his tracks… Eggsy looked at him as if he was the strong, tough and masculine man the world would have him be…..he looked at him as if he was the daddy that he should have been and failed.

"_Harry…"_

That's all it took for Harry to know that he would do everything and anything to make sure Eggsy was by his side….safe and sound. He'd never viewed Eggsy as 'weak' or 'less' ; quite the contrary he'd always thought of Eggsy as stronger than most for rising up against his beginnings. He knew without a shadow of doubt that Eggsy was brilliant, strong, tough and remarkable in his own way. But as he watched his adversary he could see they didn't see any of that; they saw Eggsy as disposable, a means to an end and they certainly didn't see Harry really believing that he was worth fighting for. It didn't bother Harry that they thought him a weak, older 'fancy boy' who couldn't fight them; he knew he'd soon prove them wrong. But it did bother him that they used and abused Eggsy as if he was nothing…..THAT was unforgivable.

Eggsy's voice speaking his name and his open, piercing eyes staring at him shook Harry to his core. To almost anyone else Eggsy would look strong and assured, even under the pale bloody face. But Harry could see in his eyes and hear in his tone how desperately he wanted saving. And it was up to Harry to do that saving. Though he felt weak with need to instantly sweep Eggsy into his arms he forced himself to stay strong as he had done a million times; focus on the mission…act…..act and don't feel until later. He had done that a million times but it was never as hard as it was now.

"As a matter of fact, _fancy boy _knows he can take you" Harry said with calm sass, walking closer and closer to the cronies who, despite their apparent assurance backed away. "Because, you see…that boy sitting right there, he isn't just any boy. He's _mine_ and anyone who touches him but me…..well, I get rather jealous and I get kind of out of control when I'm jealous"

Despite their growing signs of discomfort, one of the biggest thugs laughed. "Aw…..fancy boy really is 'fancy'. He doesn't like the makeover we gave his pretty boyfriend"

The man grabbed Eggsy's bloodied face in one of his porky hands, turning it toward Harry as if proud of the damage that they had done. It was the last time any of them laid a hand on Eggsy.

Harry knew the meaning of seeing red; he had gotten angry enough before to loose snatches of memory in a rage, especially when on missions for Kingsman. But he'd never seen red like he saw red just then. One moment he was racing toward the gang and the next moment he was surveying a wreck of carnage that surprised even him; the only event that surpassed it was his episode in that church. When he came to himself he was surrounded by the huge bodies of the gang members on the floor, all shot but all beat and bloodied for good measure, blood dotting his expensive suit. When the sight hit him it was as if the force of the fight him too; looking at them he could feel his air coming fast into his lungs, his heart racing and his muscles aching. He collapsed slightly to the ground, feeling as if he had run a marathon and could have easily slept. That was until he heard the sound of ragged breathing and it brought it back to himself.

His head snapped up and he could see Eggsy sitting in the chair he was tied to. Eggsy's face was covered in blood and deathly pale but despite all that he was smiling…actually smiling at Harry.

"That was one hell of a fight…..you still got it old man" Eggsy said, his lips twitching as if he were trying to hold in his smile but he just couldn't.

How could he joke at a moment like this? All Harry could figure was it had to be his youth and young spirit of perseverance because all Harry felt was a desperate need to beat someone even more and get Eggsy out of here as quickly as he could.

Harry rushed forward toward Eggsy. He worked to untie Eggsy's bonds but found his hands shook so much that he had to try several times before he was successful; Eggsy seemed to get amusement out of this, almost as if he thought Harry's shaky hands meant something….

"Harry, one would almost think you're drunk …..but I know you'd never come on a rescue mission drunk" Eggsy joked.

Why did he have to joke? Harry didn't find anything funny in it and he knew…..he could tell no matter how good Eggsy was at hiding it he was shook. Harry finally managed to loosen Eggsy's bonds and without thinking his hands were cupping Eggsy's face and looking into his eyes.

"Are you okay?" Harry asked. He hated that his voice shook but it did and he couldn't stop it. He had to know immediately, in that very moment, that Eggsy was alive and well…..though he was broken and injured and he wanted to know how Eggsy was doing deep down. Harry knew his physical self was injured but something deep inside him wanted to know that Eggsy's emotional self was okay…despite the way Eggsy said his name, despite the ocean of meaning in his eyes Harry still wanted to hear that Eggsy was fine.

He didn't…..Eggsy's eyes bore into Harry's like a fire, seeking and searching…there was so much loss and longing and need there Harry would never forget it. Eggsy stared at him for what felt like forever before he regained himself. Eggsy shrugged him off.

"Yeah…m'fine" Eggsy said dismissingly, pushing Harry away slightly but Harry didn't buy it for a moment. Though Eggsy pushed away, saying, "Let's get out of here" Harry knew that he was anything but fine.

…

Eggsy wanted to play it all off but Harry insisted that he come back to his house for the night. Eggsy argued the point entirely too hard, saying he was fine and that it was all really no big deal…when he passed out for two minutes Eggsy was fortunate that Harry took him to his house and not the hospital. He didn't understand where the false bravado was coming from but Harry knew it wasn't going to fool him. For some reason, Eggsy was acting as though he was fine when he wasn't. The only thing that Harry could figure was that, despite the fact that Eggsy was sensitive enough to want to call Harry Daddy, he wasn't actually comfortable being vulnerable. But Harry could tell that Eggsy WAS affected. He didn't know if Eggsy was more affected than usual or if he just noticed it now that he was paying better attention but it didn't matter; all that mattered was that he DID notice now.

After his brief fainting episode, Eggsy seemed to go out of his way to chat his way to normalcy but Harry wasn't feeling it. He couldn't stop seeing the dried blood on Eggsy's face, the fatigue in his eyes, the memory of him tied to that chair while the thugs grabbed him…needless to say Harry didn't feel much like talking and after a lot of silence on his part, Eggsy grew quiet and just stared out the window.

When they arrived at Harry's house, he could feel a heaviness and weight of emotion that he felt shouldn't have been there. Harry led the way inside and though Eggsy followed him, something told him that he was reluctant.

The house was silent and dark and felt quieter than if he had been alone; Harry felt the weight of his failure to Eggsy and couldn't help but wonder if that was why Eggsy seemed so distant despite the fact that Harry wanted this to be a happy reunion. Though he had rescued Eggsy, he felt it wasn't enough; though the Daddy thing had started out as simply a name Eggsy liked calling him, he knew and he was sure Eggsy knew that it meant more than that. When Harry was called Daddy, it meant that he was strong, a protector, the one who solved all the problems…though he had saved Eggsy and rectified his mistake he still felt that he shouldn't have let him get captured in the first place. He knew it wasn't logical…..he knew he shouldn't have gotten caught up in that line of thought but he just couldn't get past the thought he was sleeping fine in his bed while Eggsy had been kidnapped and tortured at the same time.

"You can stay in the spare room tonight…it's across from mine" Harry found himself saying as they reached the top of his stairs. He felt that same heaviness and when he turned around, Eggsy was already heading towards the spare room.

Without realizing it, Harry's hand was shooting out and grabbing Eggsy's arm. While Eggsy was trying to disappear in the spare room quickly, Harry was reaching out to him. As his hand connected with Eggsy's arm, he felt a surprising amount of warmth and need in that simple touch. He had no idea how desperately he needed to touch Eggsy until he was already doing it. He wanted to stop Eggsy…..he wanted to stop him and just give…..him…_something…._he had no idea what but he knew in that moment instinctively that Eggsy was going to disappear behind that door and he wouldn't see him the rest of the night. It wasn't right…it just wasn't right and Harry had to make it right…

"Eggsy…"

Harry spoke Eggsy's name like it was a word breaking from his throat, showing angst and need. Though the light was dim in the house, Harry could see a twinge of sadness and something else Harry couldn't place before he recovered.

"Harry, I'm fine….let me go" Eggsy insisted. His voice was insistent, almost desperate…he was desperate for Harry to let him go and though he could have been desperate to go he felt Eggsy was afraid of what would happen if he stayed. It made Harry want to hold on all the more. He could feel heat radiating through his body as his heart raced…..he didn't understand it but he knew that he simply couldn't let Eggsy go. His grip tightened.

"The last time I did that…I lost you" Harry found himself saying. His voice shook as his fingers dug into Eggsy's arm.

In the dim light his eyes sought Eggsy's; it was getting easier to see. Eggsy's eyes searched his and there was emotion and depth to them that Harry knew Eggsy didn't want to show but he did. He could see need and want and….._emptiness…loneliness…_before Eggsy looked away. Why did he have to look away? Why did he need to pretend he didn't need him? For a moment it was enough to make Harry wish that he had never opened himself up to the vulnerability of being a 'Daddy' to Eggsy. That lasted all of a second; he knew that he didn't want to take that away.

"Harry…nothing's going to happen to me. I'm fine now" Eggsy said. He smiled but his words were empty; Harry could see in his eyes that it didn't reach to his heart.

"You're right…..nothing's going to happen to you now; I'm going to see to that" Harry said. He never released Eggsy's arm as he led him into the guest suite.

Pushing Eggsy into the room, it was silent except for the distant rumble of thunder of a beginning summer thunderstorm and the tap of rain on a roof. He led Eggsy over to the bed and pushed him gently down to sit on it, a crackling of lightening illuminating the room just enough that Harry could see that Eggsy was secretly terrified. Whether it was because he was terrified of what could happen or because he was terrified of his own feelings, Harry wanted to do his best to make sure that he could get rid of that face.

Harry went to the in suite, getting a washrag wet with warm water before returning to the room. No matter what else, Harry knew that he had to get rid of that bloody face…..it only reminded him of his failure to protect Eggsy….it only reminded him that others had hurt him and done things to him that they should never had.

Eggsy flinched at first as Harry rubbed his face with the washcloth but Harry put a comforting hand on his back as his other hand worked his face. "I've got to get you clean" Harry insisted. In the darkness Eggsy grew increasingly fidgety as Harry cleaned the blood off him. It was meant to be a comforting action but it was obvious that Eggsy wasn't comforted. Finally, he pushed Harry away, hopping off the bed and walking toward the window, looking out at the lightening and rain.

All this was new to Harry…it was new to him to care so much….it was new to him to feel the need to care for Eggsy….it was new to feel he'd failed in his care for Eggsy…all of it was new and he had no idea what to do. He knew clearly that Eggsy wanted him to leave him alone but that he needed him to not leave him alone…..it put him in a predicament that he wasn't prepared to deal with.

He couldn't deal with it but he knew he had try…steeling himself Harry walked over to Eggsy who was staring out the window. His heart hammered harder than it had when he had to confront those huge thugs…..this was so much more complicated than beating an enemy or solving a Kingman related puzzle….this was feelings and he was notoriously bad at feelings. And Eggsy needed him to be good at it.

Harry came up behind Eggsy, hesitant and yet eager to touch him; not wanting to be too much he let his hands rest on his shoulders. Even despite his gentle touch, Harry could feel Eggsy jump.

"I failed you in not knowing what was going on" Harry whispered in the dark. "But I promise I'm here now and I am doing everything to keep you safe"

Harry tried to comfort him, tried to gently touch his shoulders or rub his arms but that wasn't what he wanted. Or, at least that's not what he would admit to wanting….

Harry let his hands rest on Eggsy's shoulders before traveling down his arm, gently rubbing. It felt good, it felt _right….._just such a simple touch made Harry feel as if he was being surrounded by a warm fire and filled with everything he needed. It lasted for a glorious two seconds before Eggsy broke the contact.

When Eggsy whipped around, full of passion and anger Harry was sure that he was going to push Harry away and storm off. Harry's heart was gearing up for just that when Eggsy turned around and faced him, his eyes boring into his like drills. He had every right to be looking at Harry like that; he deserved a critical eye after his failure of what he was supposed to be to Eggsy.

But that wasn't what happened…with a flash of lightening and a rumble of thunder Eggsy stared at him for a solid ten seconds before he was moving TOWARD Harry instead of away from him. In a cloud of need and affection and confusion, Eggsy's lips connected with Harry's.

It was _amazing….._Harry knew there was a million things wrong with this and reasons that he should stop it but he felt he couldn't…before he could fully comprehend what was going on, Harry was pushed against a wall, young, strong arms around him, soft lips pressed against his.

Harry's heart was hammering against his chest, his breath was frozen in his lungs…no matter how much he shouldn't have, he DID want this.

Eggsy was perfect...there was simply no denying it. While Harry has never let his mind drift into thoughts like this it was obvious that subconsciously he'd been yearning for this very thing. Something deep inside him trembled with relief as Eggsy quickly parted his lips open and began to explore his mouth with that quick witted tongue. His body shivered with relief as he felt Eggsy's hands travel on his chest, arms, back, warmth seeping through his thin dress shirt. He was supposed to be the Daddy, the one with all of the answers and the control but he was quickly, happily, letting himself be taken over by Eggsy's will. There was a brief moment when he thought, when he KNEW he should stop Eggsy; he really felt they needed to talk more about what had happened tonight. But he was only human, God help him, and he was not capable of doing the 'right' thing. Not when Eggsy was gripping him like he couldn't possibly let go and kissing him as if he was the air that he was breathing…

Harry's head was in a fog; he was normally so level headed but not now. Biologically he knew this was because all of the blood in his body was traveling southward and away from his brain. But emotionally, it'd been a long time since he'd allowed himself to get swept away by ANYTHING, much less THIS…he'd been so worried and vulnerable earlier that he still felt exposed but that was quickly wiped away by the fact that Eggsy was kissing him. It was further swept away when the lips that were on his lips were pulling back and inching their way toward his lap.

All of the vulnerability and desperation that he had felt earlier were washed away as he took the backseat position and allowed Eggsy do what he wanted; which was apparently something very intimate with Harry. Harry fell against the wall, his arms falling back uselessly as Eggsy broke from his lips, moved downwards into a kneeling position and began to undo the zipper on his pants.

"W-wait….."Harry managed to breathe, some almost buried responsible part of him surfacing for a second. He put his hands on Eggsy's shoulders, feeling weak but Eggsy did stop. He looked up at Harry with a pained expression on his face. It physically hurt to feel Eggsy's touch move away; he hadn't realized until now how desperate he'd needed him until now.

"Maybe we should….wait…don't you think we need to talk about what happened?" Harry asked desperately. His hands were sweaty where they gripped Eggsy's shoulders. He wasn't sure what response he was hoping for; he knew they should talk about what happened but he wasn't sure how that would go.

Eggsy's face looked drawn and desperate. "Please Harry….."

Harry couldn't do it. He knew they would have to talk about it. He knew it would be bad if he delayed this conversation. But he just couldn't do it…..he couldn't say no to Eggsy.

So, he didn't. Letting his hands fall back and tipping his head back, Harry did nothing to stop Eggsy from pulling him into something that was until then only a fantasy.


End file.
